Yard Sale Happiness

There seem to be more yard sales than ever this year. Maybe it’s the economy or maybe we’re all motivated to recycle. Or maybe some of us just have too much stuff. For me it was about the stuff. We’ve got too much of it. Three children generate a lot of stuff. Our basement was crammed with it so we filled up the back of the pick up truck and joined some good friends in their driveway for their neighborhood yard sale. Since we don’t have a traditional “neighborhood”, we have to adopt others. We do the same thing at Halloween. We’ve been trick or treating in the same neighborhood for so many years now that I’m sure the residents think we live there.

This particular yard sale had very reasonable hours of 9am-3pm. So we began setting up at 7am, which I quickly learned is not early enough when your yard sale begins at 9am. By 7:15 there were early birds picking through my boxes along with me. The kids set up a stand and began selling breakfast of painfully sweet lemonade and homemade chocolate chip cookies. They did a brisk business all morning until their interest petered out around 9:30. Lucky for us other neighborhood kids were quick to take their spots and no one made it up the driveway un-accosted by adorable kids yelling “Don’tcha want some lemonade?”

I love to go to yard sales. Love to find treasure in someone else’s trash. But it’s been a long time since I was the seller at a yard sale. I forgot how much I hate the haggling. For heaven’s sake here I am laying out all my junk and asking just a few pennies for it and you’re going to come along and ask me if I’ll sell it for even less than a few pennies? I know, I know. As one of my fellow yard salers pointed out – that’s the point. Still, I’m uncomfortable with the haggling. I’m terrible at it too, because even if the guy said, “Hey, you give me a dime and I’ll take that old frying pan off your hands,” I’d say, “Sure.” I made every deal. Which I guess was fine since my entire motivation for participating in the yard sale was to get rid of my stuff. But by 8:30am I was already thinking “why didn’t I just box all this stuff up and take it to Goodwill?”

At lunchtime the kids had made more money on the cookies and lemonade than I had on all my junk. Next time I think it would be a better strategy to put the cute kids behind the saw horse table full of dishware and I’ll sit on the plastic fisher price chairs out front with the lemonade. Still it was fun to hang out with our friends and we did meet some nice people and send them off happy in the knowledge that they had totally scammed me. As I watched the latest satisfied customer leave with a barely used Calphalon pot for a buck, it dawned on me that maybe the best thing to do would be to give it all away. That way I don’t have to stress over being taken advantage of, the customers are happy, and just maybe all the stuff will go and I won’t have to box it up and take it home. After convincing the other yard sale proprietors in the driveway that my plan made sense, we posted a sign at the end of the driveway that said “Everything’s Free! Really!”

Customers walked up the driveway hesitantly, not sure if the sign was a joke. When we told them otherwise they carefully selected a few items and scurried away asking, “You’re sure?” I smiled and thanked them for coming to our sale. This was my kind of yard sale. I loved it when a very young couple laden three little kids came up the driveway and I was able to make their oldest daughter grin like it was Christmas morning as she wheeled away my daughter’s old pink bike that sat in our driveway collecting rust for the last two years. That smile was worth much more than the $5 price tag that still clung to the handlebars. The rest of the afternoon went on in this fashion. I loved all the smiles we created on grateful faces and wished we’d switched to the new pricing system much earlier. The beauty of it all is that I went home with $60, an empty truck, and the knowledge that I had made lots of people very happy that day.

I don’t think I’ll ever sit on that side of the table for a yard sale again, but just in case you do, here’s my advice:

1. Have your kids set up a lemonade stand with homemade baked goods alongside of your yard sale. It keeps them busy and draws the right kind of customers. People who stop for lemonade stands generally have kids or grandkids and they’re more likely to buy your stuff which is probably mostly kid stuff. Plus it teaches your kids some responsibility, garners them a few marketing skills, and gives them an opportunity to do a little math in the summer.

2. Price everything before you actually get to the yard sale. Put a sticker on everything. I got a pack of stickers at Wal-Mart that already had yard sale prices on it and that made this easier. I didn’t price things before I got there and it was very stressful to price things while the professional yardsalers looked on and dug through my boxes.

3. Set up your stuff at least two hours early or put up a big sign that says “NO EARLYBIRDS!” (although I’m not sure a sign will really scare off the true professionals).

4. Join other families having yard sales at the same time. This way you can share in the expenses and work of signs and advertisements. These signs and advertisements are key to getting lots of traffic. Plus it’s just really nice to have company while you suffer through the humiliation of selling stuff you’re embarrassed you ever bought in the first place.

5. Consider having a rain date. We had perfect weather, but it would have been a miserable day if it had been rainy.

6. Bag up kid’s small toys that are similar in Ziploc bags together. We put toy power rangers in a bag with a power ranger video, Barbies in bags with extra clothes, and all the Cars movie toys together. Gathering up a bunch of Polly Pockets and some extra outfits in a sandwich bag was much easier to deal with, same with legos blocks and hot wheel cars. It’s too hard to price every small toy, bags are easier to handle.

7. Have lots of extra plastic bags for your customers to take home their treasures in and newspapers to wrap dishes and breakables.

8. If you have junk that you doubt anyone would want, but you can’t bear to throw away, consider having a “free” box. You’d be amazed what people will take when it’s free. Now it will clutter their life and not yours and you don’t have to feel guilty!

9. Work out a pricing plan with anyone who’s sharing your yard sale space. Pick a time to go to half price. If everyone’s willing, pick a time to make everything free. I promise this will be your favorite time of the sale.

10. Remember that the bottom line is you don’t want to take anything home. It will just sit in your basement cluttering up your home and your life and your conscience. Make the deal!

I'm Mean But I'm Not Stupid

I’m only three days in to summer vacation and I’m ready for school to start, how about you? It’s not the noise or the mess they make or even the constant whining. It’s the fighting. If it weren’t so maddening, the things they can find to fight about would be funny. I’ve considered recording them and playing it back, but I’m not sure they would see the humor. My main strategy is to duck and cover. I hear the voices escalating in the kitchen I head for the laundry room. The battle moves to the living room, I make a beeline for the garden. If they follow me outside I just keep moving. That’s the key, never be a stationery target.

I wish something could be done, but I’m fairly certain there is no remedy. I remember fights with my little brother that got bloody. I think my own mother also employed the duck and cover strategy as I don’t remember her officiating any of our battles. There are only two solutions that work for me. 1) get rid of one or two kids or 2) become their common enemy.

Getting rid of one or two works really well but is dependent on kind friends with similarly aged children. When only one or two children are home the house is measurably quieter. I’ve tried the day camp routine as a way to get rid of a kid or two, but that requires me to spend entire days in my car and go nearly broke. I don’t think camps were as expensive or as plentiful when I was a kid. Today there’s a camp for everything. My kids each get to pick out one day camp to attend. That’s all I can afford, and truth be told, I do want to spend time with them this summer even if it means listening to them fight.

My other strategy in the battle against sibling battles is to become their common enemy. When they are mad at mom they suddenly become the greatest of allies. They mutter under their breath, roll their eyes at each other, make faces at me behind my back (forgetting about the eyes in the back of my head), and run constant reconnaissance missions to keep tabs on my whereabouts. It’s a beautiful thing siblings united against their mother.

Recently my husband, youngest son, and I were working outside tearing off an old deck while the older two huddled inside trying to figure out how to get beyond the list of chores that had accumulated all week leaving them with no computer time until they were accomplished. My husband ducked inside to grab a tool and overheard my son say to my daughter, “We can’t do that! She’s mean, but she’s not stupid!” He managed to get back outside before doubling over in laughter. We howled for hours over that comment. When I shared the exchange with a friend, she said, “That’s awful that they think you’re mean.” I looked at her like she had three heads and said, “I’m fine with mean. Mean’s relative, stupid’s permanent.” And this is true. I’m fine with my kids thinking I’m mean as long as they respect me. Compared to many of their friends my kids live the good life when it comes to my attitude about chores, their appearance, the cleanliness of their rooms, their homework, and the number of pets I allow them to bring home, so while I might temporarily hold the title of “meanest mom” I know it’s not forever. Someday, they’ll appreciate me. At least I hope they do.

This leads me to what I set out to write about - should we expect from our children when it comes to chores? This is quite definitely a family-by-family and kid-by-kid decision. I’ll share with you what I expect and the reward system I use. You might find it useful or not. And maybe you’ll understand my title of “meanest mom in the world”.

First off, I don’t do allowance. My reason is that nobody gets money for just existing. We all have to earn it and the sooner my kids learn this the better. There are several ways they can earn “mom bucks”. Mom bucks are worth 25 cents each or they can be worth 50 cents each if the money is used to buy books. Blatantly bribing them to read more I admit. It works though.

All three kids (ages 7, 10, and 12) are expected to help with dinner chores on weekdays. Their father and I handle the dinner chores on the weekends and holidays. They earn a mom buck for each job. If they fail to do their job, their mom buck can be earned by another sibling who takes over the job. If I have to do it, they pay me a mom buck. They can be excused without penalty if they have practice, too much homework, another commitment, or I don’t feel like dealing with their whining. The three jobs are broken down thus:
1. Set the table - clear off all the belongings and general junk that has accumulated during the day, put out the placemats and napkins, utensils, drinks, and any condiments, salads, or dishes that are necessary for the meal.
2. Clear the table – Everyone is expected to clear their own dishes, but the person in charge of clearing picks up everything else and puts it in the appropriate place - on the counter, on the floor for the dog, in the cabinets, or in the fridge. They then shake the placemats and napkins off over the trash can and hang them on the backs of the chairs if they are reusable. They wipe the table off with a clean dish rag and sweep under and around the table.
3. Dishes – place all the dishes in the dishwasher and everything that needs to be washed by hand in the sink. We have yet to make them do the handwashing. I’m steeling myself for that battle, but not quite ready to go there yet. Dishes is the easiest job, but it require them to come back in to the kitchen after they’ve already begun their next adventure so they generally hate this job. Plus they have to touch the icky utensils when they drop them in the dishwasher and they miss (kind of like that party game of drop the clothespin in the bottle).

Mom bucks can also be earned at my discretion. For example, it’s raining and the dog really needs to go out and I don’t know where my shoes are, I might offer a mom buck to anyone who takes the dog out. I’ve been known to pay 2 mom bucks to someone who takes the puppy out for at least 10 minutes and runs her around. If I catch them doing something nice for a sibling, I’ll award a mom buck. I always keep a list of chores they can choose to do if they’d like to earn some more mom bucks - clean a bathroom, vacuum a room, straighten up the playroom, sweep the porch, etc. The harder the job, the more mom bucks they earn.

There are also a few things I expect from my children simply because they live here. If they don’t follow through with these expectations, they reap the natural consequences. There’s a bunch, but here’s some I can think of right now:
- bring their own belongings in from the car (or they may be thrown out at next car dumping)
- clean up their belongings around the house (or they go to the time out box)
- bring their dirty clothes to the laundry (or no clean clothes this week)
- remove their sheets for washing and put them back on afterward (or sleep on a bare mattress)
- fix their own breakfast unless it requires the stove (or go hungry)
- do their homework (if a homework slip comes home that means I get to nag and harass them)
- keep their rooms clean enough that I can run the vacuum cleaner without sucking up anything important (or no one comes over to play until it’s done)
- keep the computer/play room straightened up (or it gets locked)
- put their shoes in the shoe basket (or risk them being chewed to pieces by the puppy)

We keep track of everyone’s mom bucks, chore assignments, and activities on a big white board that is updated each week. It also lists the running tally of mom bucks each child has earned. They can lose mom bucks for using the words – stupid, hate, dummy, or any other truly disrespectful word.

That’s our system. It has evolved over many years and seems to work for us. If you haven't done it already, develop your own list of expectations and clearly communicate them to your kids. It is a bit of a battle to get kids to accept responsibilities around the house, but it’s worth the effort. Their future spouse or roommate will thank you for it. Heck, your kids might even thank you for it. Take it from me – I’m mean, but I’m not stupid!

Carrotmobs and Greenish Companies

I made the mistake of wandering in to Wal-Mart on a weekend. I’m usually smarter than that, but the dog was completely out of food so I waded in with the masses. Not only was it a zoo because of all the Wal-Mart faithful, but apparently Wal-Mart is doing so well in these economically trying times that they are completely renovating our store. This must prove difficult considering the place is open 24 hours. Do you just shop from the moving skid loader as it rearranges?

Anyway, the dog food was not where the dog food is meant to be. After wandering in circles and being misled by the overhead signs that have yet to be changed, I located the dog food in the very back of the store on the very back wall. Wal-Mart’s new marketing plan worked really well on me. Now that I had been sucked in to the abyss, I couldn’t help but notice all the other goodies around me – things I just might need. I remembered we were out of aluminum foil and I could use some plastic bags for the six thousand pounds of lettuce I’m growing these days.

Conveniently the bags and wraps were located at the back of the store also. They must know that those of us that avoid Wal-Mart as a rule, still troop back there to buy pet food and plastics. Alongside of the traditional Reynolds wrap I found 100% recycled Reynolds wrap. What is this? Another major brand attempting the green thing? Sure enough the box boasted that the aluminum foil was made from 100% recycled aluminum, the box holding it was made from 100% recycled paperboard, and the inks used to paint the box were water based! Wow! Maybe the grinch does have a heart! I snatched up a box because I’m all about positive reinforcement. Works great with puppies and occasionally with children. The best part is that this aluminum foil wasn’t any more expensive than the foil I normally buy.

Next I went in search of plastic bags and lo and behold what did I find but Ziploc ‘evolve’. Noting that the price was somewhat higher than all the other plastic bags, I was still intrigued and pulled a box from the shelf. It claimed that the “ultra light bag was made with 25% less plastic” and that’s not all folks – it was made with wind energy! Not kidding. And of course the carton was made with 100% recycled paperboard. I guess all the big guns have figured out that sooner or later everyone is going to wise up to the importance of preserving this planet. We are having an impact. But you can bet that these companies are going green not because it’s the right thing to do, but because it’s the profitable thing to do and quite possibly the only way to survive.

Time magazine had an article last week about Carrotmobs. A carrotmob is the opposite of a boycott. Again with the positive reinforcement. In a carrobmob, customers swarm stores that use some of their cash to get eco-friendlier. How it works is this, stores submit bids to the carrotmob organizer citing all the ways they will use the influx of cash generated by the carrobmob to make their store greener. There have been carrotmobs in 11 cities in the US, plus some in Finland and France. The carrobmobsters are organized to appear at the selected store on a specific date. Clever. Nothing motivates a retailer to go green like some extra green. To learn more about Carrotmobs check out www.carrotmob.org/faq.

All kidding aside, I do think it’s important to support any efforts to bring about change in the marketplace. Companies won’t become more environmentally responsible for altruistic reasons, but they will change their ways if it means additional profits. That’s where we come in. We must support companies that are making an effort, any effort, to change. Sure, most aluminum foil is made from mostly recycled aluminum already, but here’s a brand that is making it a central feature of their product, plus adding in other green features too. Good for them. Yes, they stand to gain financially. And that is good because the bottomline, like or not, always comes back to the almighty dollar. That fact won’t change, but what can change is how that dollar is earned. Ecologically responsible products and companies that are more energy efficient is a win-win for all of us. Pay attention to the products you are buying – you are much more powerful than you know.

Phenopropylparabenzolide-free Part Two

This is part two of my thoughts on organic body care products. It’s possible I’m ignoring some products that might be crucial to your well-being. I’m just trying to hit the high spots. If I skip a product near and dear to your heart, please feel free to let me know. I offer guest post spots real cheap.

One product that I have become a believer in is mineral salt deodorant. I use the Thai stone and it works really well. I’ve tried lots of other “natural” deodorants and, although my friends and family are too polite to tell me, they didn’t work. The Thai stone is made completely of natural mineral salts and is probably the best bargain in town when it comes to natural products. I’ve had my stone for over a year and you wouldn’t know I’d ever used it if I hadn’t dropped it on the counter and chipped off an edge. I think I will still be using this stone when I get dressed in the nursing home, as long as I can still put on my own deodorant. If you’re not familiar with the stone, here’s how it works – You run it under water and wipe it under your arm. The package says it words great for foot odor too, but I haven’t tried that. My feet don’t stink - my opinion (I told you my friends and family are much too polite to tell me if they do).

Commercial deodorants have come under fire through internet viral gossip. I’m sure you received the e-mail that went around some time ago about anti-perspirants causing breast cancer. While I think the e-mail was a hoax, one can’t help but wonder if there isn’t some connection. Sweat is natural. Our bodies need to sweat to help cool our system. A product that prevents us from sweating could very possibly be messing up our system. Makes sense to me, but I’ve told you before I’m always open to a good conspiracy theory. So rather than take my chances, I choose to use a deodorant rather than an antiperspirant and an all natural one at that.

As far as body lotions and make up, here’s where my Mary Kay bias comes in to play. I have tried some of the natural products, but I always come back to Mary Kay because this is my face we’re talking about and I use what works. I have used Burt’s Bees Carrot Lotion and their Marshmallow eye gel. They worked pretty well and smelled great. As a Mary Kay Consultant, I can’t stop myself from saying the most important skin care product is a moisturizer. As we age our skin is drying out, like anything that’s been left out in the air a long time. We’re wrinkling in much the same way a grape becomes a raisin. So adding moisture back in is critical and as you age you need to do it more often and with more effective products. Find a moisturizer that works for you and use it twice a day if you don’t want to end up looking like a raisin in the sun.

When it comes to makeup, I’m not sure I can give impartial advice except to say, it’s OK to wear make up. I don’t think there’s any real danger here. I have noticed that many people who live the “natural and organic” life tend to shy away from make up. And that’s fine if it works for them. No one needs to wear makeup. But needs are relative. Just ask my kids. They feel they need to eat Cheezits and stop at Dairy Queen every time we drive by. I guess what I’m saying is that just because you’re in to the natural and organic thing does not mean you have to give up make up. If it makes you feel better about how you look, it will make you more confidant and happy and that’s what matters.

Whether you wear make up or not is a personal choice and what kind you wear is also a personal choice. But since most makeup really just sits on your skin and doesn’t necessarily get in to your body in large amounts, whether or not you go in for “natural” make up or not is personal choice. There are several brands out there that claim to be all natural, but none are truly “organic”. I believe in the Mary Kay brand because I know first hand how much research and development goes in to their product. They are not quick to jump on the latest and greatest trend. They take time to do the homework and be sure that their products are safe and effective. Cue the MK theme song. Sorry about the commercial, I told you I couldn’t be impartial on this one.

Many make up companies, including MK, are moving towards mineral based make up and this is good thing. Minerals are better for your skin and provide a minimal level of sun protection. No mineral make up provides true sun protection, so don’t buy that claim. You need a product with an SPF of at least 15 to get true sun protection.

Speaking of sun protection, here’s another fuzzy natural product area. I splurged last year and bought Aveeno sun block for my kids. It didn’t work. Everyone got burned. It smells great, costs a fortune, and doesn’t offer any protection after about 30 minutes and none in water. At least that was our experience. I don’t really trust Coppertone to be good for me or good for the planet, but it’s just about all I can afford considering how much I use on a daily basis for my three kids who are outside or at the pool all summer. My son who has alopecia has a bald head, so I need serious sun protection for him. I do use a Mary Kay sunscreen on Ian’s head because I know it works and I trust Mary Kay to use better, safer ingredients.

So I’m not really helping you at all, am I? But maybe I’m making a Mary Kay customer out of you. (kidding)

I had a naturalist doctor once tell me that coconut oil will make you look 10 years younger. He was big on coconut oil and I am too, for other reasons (I’ll have to post about that sometime). He told me if I used it on my skin all over every day, I’d see a real difference. Hmm…think about it. Coconut oil all over. It’s not any cheaper than face or body lotion (coconut oil is pricey). But the cost of replacing all the sheets, pillows, and clothing you ruin could make you go broke. Of course you could stand around naked for 30 minutes or so until the oil is completely absorbed, but who has time for this? And how would you explain it to your kids? Maybe someday I’ll try this, but not while the kids are still living at home. You try it though and let me know.

Phenopropylparabenzolide-free post Part I

I’ve put off writing about organic body products because I’m still not a fan of many. Several of you have requested that I write on this topic, so I’m going to muse about them in a couple of posts. But first, I have to make a few disclaimers.

Number one disclaimer: I am a Mary Kay Consultant. There, I said it. I’ve been one for over five years, but I’ve used the products for almost twenty years. I don’t drive a pink Cadillac and I’ve never even been to a meeting. I “haven’t drunk the kool-aid” as my husband likes to say, but I am a believer in their products. Going “organic” hasn’t changed that, but I’ll try to keep the commercials to a minimum.

My other disclaimer is that I really haven’t tried that many organic body products mostly because they cost so much. Like most of you, we live on a budget and my budget does not include $12 bottles of kids shampoos that the kids use by the handful or $18 bottles of skin lotion that wind up in science experiments involving the cat.

If you’re still game to read on, here it goes. If you think I’m a bit biased and uninformed, you’re probably correct and have every right to close this post right now. I’ll never know.

Basically, I believe in spending more money and effort on the products that are going in to my body, rather than on my body. And yes, I do think that a product you apply to your skin does get in to your body. I just don’t think it gets in at the same level. So basically I don’t stress the organic body products too much. Maybe I should. When my son was first diagnosed with Alopecia Areata (www.naaf.org for information) everything was suspect and I spent a small fortune on organic hair and body products. But over time, I realized it wasn’t some chemical in the shampoo I put on his head for all of 30 seconds two times a week that caused him to develop the disorder and my priorities shifted.

All of the information I gathered back then and all that I’ve read since then has left me mostly confused. There is so much that could be bad for us, but no one seems to have the answers as to which chemicals are truly dangerous and what exactly they do. I don’t have all those answers with organic food either, but with organic food I have seen a clear difference in our health. With body care products I only have someone’s word for it. One thing I know for sure is that if you want to scare yourself, go online. There is website upon website spouting off on all the serious dangers associated with just about any product you put on your body – shampoo, lotions, deodorant, toothpaste. You can scare yourself silly. I think like so much else in life, it’s best to keep it simple and use products that have a history or hold some level of your trust. Here’s my take on some basic products most of us use. I’m going to spread this out over a few posts so I don’t bore you to tears in one sitting.

When it comes to natural shampoos and conditioners, I’m lost on all the chemical names that are thrown around. Some are bad and some are really bad, and I can’t keep any of the names straight. This makes me, like many of us, a perfect target for a good marketing campaign. I think unless you have done the research (and if you have and would like to offer a guest post I’d love that), you would do well to buy from a company you know and trust. Choose one that’s been around and been in the business – Jason and Burt’s Bees come to mind. Choose a company that has strived to make an all natural, safe product from the get go, rather than one that has only recently jumped on the bandwagon to make a buck. Trader Joes has their own brand of very inexpensive hair products that work pretty well. I use them as my every day shampoo. I like the Refreshing Citrus shampoo and the Tea Tree Tingle conditioner, but there’s lots of options (with equally appealing names). I also buy a bottle of high end shampoo and conditioner to use for special occasions (my bottle lasts me for months so that tells you how many special occasions I have). I have very fine, thin hair that spends a good part of its life in a pony tail tucked under a ball cap, so I need some serious help when it comes to hair styling. I really like Jason’s Thin to Thick shampoos, conditioner and hair spray. They each cost about $10 a pop so it’s a splurge. My advice on natural hair products is buy from a brand you trust and spend more if you know it works (not just because the bottle says so).

Kids shampoos make us a little more nervous. After all, we’ve already been exposed to a lifetime of bad chemicals, they’re just getting started. I don’t make my kids wash their hair every day, just the days they need it. We over do it with skin care products in this country. No one needs to be that clean and sterile. It’s not healthy. Really. And if you’re worried about exposing your kid to toxic chemicals in the shampoos and soaps you use, it’s probably a good idea to expose them less often. Because I’m not a scientist or researcher and I don’t have any idea what’s really in shampoo, I opt for brands I trust and brands sold by the natural food store that I frequent. I’m trusting them to offer products that are mostly safe. Might be naïve, but I just don’t have time to lose my head over these things.

As far as soap goes, I don’t use it. Really. My family has incredibly dry, sensitive skin so soap only makes that problem worse. A good scrubbing with hot water and a washcloth is pretty much all we need. I do have a few very gentle, all natural soaps for stubborn dirt, but I’ve learned that a good, long, marinade in a warm tub of water with lots of toys to play with loosens just about any dirt my kids come home with. We never use antibacterial soap because it’s unnecessary and could very probably do more harm than good. The only bit of “antibacterial” soap we have in our house is in a bottle next to the gecko’s cage just in case someone decides to pick up the gecko. But that hasn’t happened in nearly a year since the gecko bit (and drew blood!) the finger of my youngest son who tends to love creatures to death.

So what about all the homemade versions of shampoo and body care products? There are some out there. Every now and again I get the bug to figure out how to make my own. And every time I figure out how to do it I decide it’s way too complicated and while it might save me money, it will cost me too much time and frustration. I’ll keep looking though, and I’ll let you know if I discover something that works.

Friday’s post will hit on some other products like lotions, deodorants, make up, and sun protection. I’m saving toothpaste for a post all its own. The fluoride controversy is much bigger than me.

Of Chickens and Children....

For the last two weeks or so I’ve been getting up at 5:10am everyday. Not by choice. I am an early riser, but that’s early even for me. The reason I’ve been getting up so early is that every morning at 5:10 our baby rooster starts crowing. He is not our only rooster, but the other roosters are shut up in the dark of the hen house until I deem it is truly “morning” and let them out. The baby rooster lives with the other new chicks in the chicken tractor which sits in clear view of my bedroom window. Now, if you’ve never lived on a farm you wouldn’t be aware that roosters don’t necessarily say “cock-a-doodle-doo” in that lovely sing-song-isn’t-it-quaint-to-be-on-a-farm way, especially when they’re just getting started. This particular rooster says basically, “ark-doooooooo” really, really loud starting at 5:10 and continuing at irregular intervals all day. Another myth is that roosters only crow at daybreak. In reality they crow each time they are startled by anything – the sun rising, a bird flying by, another chicken crowing, or a blade of grass shifting.

So each morning at 5:10 he says “ark-doooooooo” and wakes me. I curse and wake my husband (his sleep is rarely disturbed by crowing roosters or crying children, bless him). Then I explain all the things I’d like to do to that rooster – cook him for Sunday dinner, leave him out for the foxes, deposit him in an empty cart in the cart return at Walmart, make a little extra money by putting him in with the big roosters and taking bets on how long he’d last. My husband just tells me to go back to sleep, which I would do IF THE DAMN ROOSTER WOULD QUIT CROWING! I’ve called pretty much every chicken person I know who might take this rooster and found no takers.

So I’m sure at this point you’re not feeling sorry for me and you’re wondering why I got the rooster in the first place. I didn’t get the rooster. I got a cute little yellow chick that my daughter hatched at school for the embryology project. And of course this rooster has a name, Star. And of course, she won’t hear of us eating Star for supper.

I was beginning to live in the zone much like the one you live in when you first bring a baby home from the hospital and becoming more sleep deprived and irrational as the days wore on. And then yesterday I was at Camden Yards trying to take a nap on my husband’s shoulder while watching the Orioles lose miserably to the Detroit Tigers (I’m not sure why anyone pays money to watch either of these teams play), when a friend spotted me and stopped to talk. She asked why I was so tired, so I bored her with my rooster issue. When I finished, she said, “Why don’t you get some ear plugs?” Wow. How can anyone be so brilliant? And why had I not thought of this? Ear plugs! Here I was scheming on all the ways to kill this rooster without incurring the wrath of my daughter and it’s as simple as ear plugs!

So today I’m rested. I can see clearly and think a bit better too and I realized that there’s a great lesson here. A lesson I should have learned by now. You can’t change other people (or roosters) and while you could kill a rooster, society frowns upon killing other people, so your only option is to change how you react to them. Instead of killing this rooster, I can wear ear plugs. Much more peaceable solution.

I think the same lesson can be applied to children. As I look down the barrel of a long summer that starts this Thursday, I’m already cowering at the thought of unending days filled with my children whining and fighting. I can’t stop my children from whining or fighting any more than I could stop that rooster from crowing. So maybe the only thing I can do is change how I react to them. I know from experience that reasoning with them draws only blank stares and a pause before the next onslaught. Yelling gets me nowhere and only adds one more angry voice to the mix. I don’t know what I’m going to do differently, but I know that the answer won’t lie in changing their behavior, but in changing mine. Maybe I’ll sing show tunes at them or hum the same annoying tune my daughter hums when she’s trying not to hear one of her brothers. Maybe I’ll walk away. Or maybe I’ll just put in my new ear plugs.

Note: The winner of the Ecostore giveaway was Susan Robinson!!