A Tale of Too Much Protein

This month my daughter is a vegetarian. It’s hard for me to write that with a straight face because she has never really eaten much meat, unless you count hot dogs. And even hot dogs are mostly just a spoon with which to eat ketchup. Impressed by her Catholic friends who were giving up something for lent, she announced at the beginning of the month that she was giving up meat for the month of April. (“Not for lent Mom, for April!”) I bit my tongue and did not say what I was really thinking which was “how convenient – giving up something you already don’t want to eat! And why does April demand this kind of sacrifice?” I didn’t launch in to a lecture on the meaning of Lenten sacrifice. I just said, “Hmm,” which caused her to glare at me and march out of the kitchen.


As the month progressed, she sat smugly at dinner passing the steak, chicken, or pork and reminding us, “remember, I don’t eat meat.” We stressed to her that she still needed to take in enough protein and worried that her sullen mood was caused not by her impending hormones, but by her lack of protein.

Somewhere along the line I’ve become as brainwashed as the rest of America in to believing that meat = protein. The meat industry has worked hard to hammer home that thought. In fact, bring up the American Meat Institute’s nutrition site and the first words that greet you (surrounded by pictures of happy, healthy people and deliciously luscious meats) are: “Protein. Fuel for the body and mind.” Which doesn’t come close to the “Beef. It’s what’s for dinner.” But I’m sure it’ll grow on us.

As Mark Bittman points out in his book Food Matters (great book – informative, entertaining, and even has 75 recipes!), “per calorie, cooked spinach has more than twice as much protein as a cheeseburger.” Meat is not the only, or necessarily the best, form of protein. He goes on to say, what quickly becomes apparent when you read the stats on protein (see below) that Americans eat way more meat than they need. “If the American high protein diet were the ideal, you might expect us to live longer than countries where meat consumption is more moderate. We’re the second-to-last in longevity among industrialized nations.”

So is my daughter getting enough protein? Here’s the math on the body’s protein requirement for children (and the rest of us):

Ages 1-3: 0.55 grams of protein per pound of body weight

Ages 4-6: 0.5 grams of protein per pound of body weight

Ages 7-14: 0.45 grams of protein per pound of body weight


Boys ages 15-18: 0.4 grams of protein per pound of body weight

Girls over 15 and boys over 18: 0.36 grams of protein per pound of body weight.

How does that play out for my daughter? She is 11 years old and weighs about 75 pounds (soaking wet), so she needs somewhere in the neighborhood of 34 grams of protein a day. She can get that from any of the following non-meat sources:
1 oz cheese = 7 grams protein

1 cup milk = 8 grams protein

1 egg = 6 grams protein

2T peanut butter = 8 grams of protein

Throw in some whole grain breads and cereals (2-4 grams) and a few veggies (1-3grams) and there’s every reason to believe that my daughter is doing just fine on her protein intake despite her meat protest.

And what about the rest of us? I need about 55 grams of protein. Am I getting enough or too much? Well, the typical 8 oz steak serving has 50 grams of protein and the yogurt I eat each morning for breakfast has about 18 grams. Throw in the ridiculous amount of vegetable matter I consume and my fondness for cheese and I’d say I’m getting more than my fair share most days.

And what happens when you eat too much protein? According to protein expert, Gail Butterfield, PHd, RD, and nutrition lecturer at Stanford University, too much protein can lead to a build up of ketones in your system which will put your kidneys in to overdrive trying to flush them. This not only stresses out your kidneys, it can also lead to dehydration, bad breath, and weakness. Lovely. I would guess it can also lead to weight gain and cholesterol issues. Apparently excess protein can’t be stored so we either break it down and burn it as energy or we store it as fat. I like to run, but even my long runs couldn’t possibly require the amount of protein I’m taking in. Other researchers believe that eating too much protein can lead to calcium loss and to the immune malfunction that causes food allergies.

So what’s a person or a parent to do? Pay attention. Reduce the portion sizes of the meat you eat which will save you money and calories. Plan more meat free meals. Try to break the strangle hold that meat has on our understanding of a healthy meal. We don’t need to eat it every meal, let alone every day. Just reducing your family’s meat intake slightly will have a substantial impact on your health and your budget. And teach your children that protein can be found in many other sources beyond meat.

Even Janet Riley, Senior Vice President of Public Affairs for the American Meat Institute, agrees in her response to the new 2010 dietary guidelines for Americans, “I think we can all agree that Americans need to increase their fruit and vegetable consumption, but they can continue to eat meat and poultry at the same rate they’re eating it – 5-7oz a day…” I guess she’s assuming you won’t eat any other protein sources because 7 oz of meat a day is just about the protein limit for most of us.

My daughter does plan to go back to eating meat in May. I’m not really sure what that means. I’m guessing it means she’ll go back to eating hot dogs and nibbling around the edges of a small piece of chicken on occasion. Like I said, giving up meat wasn’t a huge sacrifice. I’m glad she did it though; it gave me a chance to educate myself about our need for protein. I’m convinced we don’t need to eat meat at every meal – our bodies don’t need it. But growing up an American, it will take some re-wiring to change my habits. How about yours?

Corks and Caps and Kids

We have a currency of corks and caps in our house. When someone treads dangerously close to the line of bad behavior, my husband or I caution, “That’s your warning. Do it again and it’s a bottle cap.” And sometimes when we see stellar behavior, as in when one sibling actually helps another, you’ll hear us say, “Aww, that was great. You get a cork for that.”

This system is the latest evolution of discipline in our long line of creative solutions to the age old problem of how-do-you-make-your-kids-act-right. It’s very simple really. Each of the kids has a large mason jar in a basket on the piano. Whenever we catch our children doing something good we put a cork in their jar. And whenever we catch our children doing something bad (or neglecting to do something good when the option is there to do, say, their assigned kitchen chore), we put a bottle cap in the jar.

Let me explain about the corks and caps. For this new system we needed something small that we already had lying around. As I’ve explained before I have difficulty throwing out things that can’t be recycled and could one day prove useful. Hence, the caps and corks. The colorful plastic caps from bottles were collected for sorting games for my toddlers, but once they outgrew the thrill of hundreds of small bright plastic disks, I couldn’t give up the compulsion to stock pile them. Lucky for me, the art teacher at the elementary school loves caps and puts them to use in beautiful mosaics. The corks have been collecting since I first attached myself to the man I call my husband. We used to write the occasion and date on the corks, but now we just toss them in a drawer. I have plans to make something useful out of them someday, but that day hasn’t arrived. So corks and caps we have in great abundance. Perfect for the latest parenting endeavor.

When any child accrues 8 corks, he or she may trade them in for a prize (see below). The corks continue to accumulate until they reach 15 corks and then the prizes get even better (see below). After that, the corks get dumped back in to the cork drawer. The bottle caps work a little differently. If a child manages to garner 5 bottle caps, he or she loses all screen privileges (ALL screens) for the following weekend. They may give up 2 corks to remove 1 bottle cap but only until they reach 4, but on that 5th cap there is no escape. (This was a technicality quickly developed by my youngest and wiliest child.) Each Sunday night all caps magically disappear and Monday morning begins with a cap-free jar.

Maybe this seems like a little too much effort, but it sure beats yelling and threatening and then trying to remember what you threatened. It helps us reward the good stuff like running up to shut the chicken coop in the dark when it’s raining, helping your brother with his homework, carrying in the groceries, or doing something thoughtful without being asked. My daughter recently spent an evening helping her little brother (the very same child who that morning she proclaimed she would hate FOREVER!) to master the hand brakes on his bike – 2 corks for that one!

Amazingly, no one has yet earned 5 caps. In fact, the mere threat of a cap usually causes the offender to turn the other cheek. Even I didn’t think this system would work so well. We are six weeks in and all I’ve had to give up is a couple sleepovers and a cherry cheesecake. Mostly they choose the extra time on the computer.

Just in case you’d like to adopt this system for yourself, here are the details on ours. We think it's only fair to spell out exactly what earns you a cap or cork. I’m sure yours might be different, but this’ll get you started.

Expectations - Consequences
1 Treat each other with respect and kindness. Consequences: One Cap  (One warning)

2 Do not hit, kick, or in any way physically harm each other or the pets. Consequences: One Cap (no warnings)

3 No Back-talk or deliberate lying. Consequences:Two Caps (no warnings)

4 No Hurtful Words: “freak”, “idiot”, “shut up”, “hate” or others TBD. Consequences: One Cap (One warning)

5 Get yourself ready for school (fix breakfast, pack lunch, pack up back pack, take vitamins, brush teeth, and remember the things you need to have for the day like sneakers, instrument, etc.)  Consequences: One Cap (One reminder)

6 Do your kitchen chore each weeknight. Consequences: one Cap (one reminder)
7 Take care of your pet (Raisin, Hans, Cody). Consequences: One cap  (one reminder)

8 Put your dirty clothes in the laundry room sorted by color in to the separate bags by Monday morning.
consequences: no clean clothes  (one reminder)

9 Put away your clean clothes the same day they are returned to you. Consequences: No Clean Laundry (one reminder)

10 Do your weekend chore each weekend. Consequences: Two Caps (one reminder)

11 Keep your room reasonably clean and vacuum it once a month. Consequences: No Friends In/out (one reminder)

Five caps in one week: Lose all screens for the following weekend.

Corks

1. Doing something nice for someone else.

2. Cleaning something you don’t have to clean.

3. Good grade on a test/project. (eventually clarified to A+ as we were bleeding corks on this one)

4. Feeding dogs

5. Taking care of Kernel [our blind chicken] -clean cage & change water or walk her

6. Helping with barn chores

7. Cleaning up yard

8. Unloading the dishwasher

9. Anytime mommy or daddy thinks you’ve done something deserving of a bonus

10. Writing a letter to a relative (real letter, not e-mail)

When you earn 8 corks, you can choose from the following rewards (keep adding corks to get to 15)

1. pick the movie night movie

2. decide the menu for one dinner that week

3. choose a special dessert or snack for one time that week

4. earn an extra ½ hour on the computer

5. propose a reward for approval

When you have 15 corks, you can choose from the following rewards:

1. sleepover

2. date night – movie, dinner out with parent or friend

3. new book from Amazon or Scholastic

4. watch an extra movie that you pick

5. earn an extra hour on the computer

Don't Know Nothing 'Bout History....

History was never my strong suit. I think the turning point was the overly enthusiastic teacher I had in 7th grade who scared me so much. I struggled with the requirement in college, garnering my only C. Whenever I find myself at a historic battlefield or museum, the sight of all those plaques makes my eyes glaze over. But in the interest of making up for lost time and setting a good example for my children I do try to drum up some enthusiasm.

I recently spent five days in Williamsburg, Virginia. I will admit up front that it wasn’t my idea and I went there for reasons having nothing to do with history. The trip was a Christmas gift from my husband. He (and a bunch of other incredibly thoughtful hubbies) gave me (and four other women from my book club) five days on a beautiful plantation. So, being honest, I went there to eat, drink and be merry with friends. Oh, and of course we read a book. One of the husbands (shout out to Mark, here) picked the book, “Dark Enough to See the Stars in a Jamestown Sky” for us to read and discuss (we really did!). Despite the verbose title and somewhat dry writing, the book brought history to life. It was the journal of a woman named Joan who journeyed across the Atlantic to settle in the first Jamestown settlement, survived the “starving time” and hostile Indians, and lived to tell.

Joan’s story raised a lot of issues about self-reliance, food preservation, and just how easy we have it these days. Most of us have never been truly hungry and we’ve certainly never been in danger of starving. Reading about the struggle for sustenance and the possibility of death on a daily basis was a foreign concept for me. But it is a very present reality for many on our planet. The desperation that rearranged priorities and perspectives was clear. The plight of a mother unable to adequately feed her child was heart-wrenching. I was glad I could close the cover. While it was a lesson in history, it made the present real.

What will history say about us? The house where we stayed was built in the 1700’s - the first time. It had only resided at its current location for 30 years. The owner had painstakingly moved it, piece by piece in his Ford Pinto. (Yes, really!) It was restored beautifully and we delighted in the details we discovered – dishes, carpentry, art work, weaponry, books. The grounds were gorgeous. The whole place looked like it had been plucked right from the center of Williamsburg and placed there in the forest across the river.

In between the revelry (no kids!! no where to be!! No one will ever know!!), I managed a few trail runs. Some of the trees I passed were enormous and I wondered if they had been there while Joan was across the river starving in Jamestown. Knowing the settlers had survived by eating acorns, I had new respect for the tiny nuts as they crunched under my feet. Maybe it was my hangover, but I really felt those woods were hallowed.

Which makes me wonder – what kind of history are we making? There have been huge changes in my lifetime. The world has become a different place. I’m not sure that all of it is for the better. But what kind of history am I making here in my family? I know so little about my own grandparents, and even less about my great-grandparents. I don’t know what their lives were like, what they held as important, or what kind of dreams they had. That’s only two generations removed. What will my own grandchildren know about me?

Because I write so much, I’m guessing my grandchildren might know more than they want to know about me. I trust that my journals will prove much too boring for any of my children to ever wade through. But I hope they will know something of me. How will you be remembered? Have you given the idea any thought? Will it be for the beautiful collection of art or stamps or books? Have you preserved your stories in scrapbooks or journals? Will you leave jewelry or furniture that has been infused with your spirit? I realize that the “stuff” we leave behind isn’t as important as our impact on the lives of the people we leave behind, but being in that historic house and wondering about the stuff that was left behind made me wonder about the people who left it. It made me want to know who they were.

Most of us don’t stay long enough in one place to allow our gardens to be our legacy. Our first house was 150 years old. The garden in the foundation of the old carriage house was probably at least 75 years old. I loved to work in that garden and wonder if the peonies (there were hundreds) were descended from peonies planted by someone who gardened at the turn of the century. We found a collection of old tobacco cans in the crawl space and my husband and I laughed at the idea that someone used to hunker down in the pump room for their daily fix. What are we leaving behind?

I do believe we will leave some kind of history, however sketchy. If we don’t want our legacy to be the hours we spent watching reality TV or reading profiles on Facebook, it would behoove us to consider what we will pass down. I hope my grandchildren get a few of my freckles, but I also hope they use my bone china and mismatched pottery. I hope they read this blog. I hope the tomatoes I grow this summer will pass along their seeds in to the next century. Imagine.

Like the settlers at Jamestown, we need to prepare. Maybe we don’t have to crush acorns for flour, but we do need to think carefully about what we teach our children. What we arrange our lives around. We are living history. As I read the story of Jamestown, it wasn’t so much the survival of Joan, but the thousands that didn’t survive that haunted me. So many people traveled so far, only to perish. We know nothing about them but a name on a roll, and sometimes we don’t even have that since many women and children tagged along unaccounted.

Make sure someone remembers your name. Think about the legacy you will leave behind, including the “stuff”. This is the only life you get, don’t squander it. Start collecting acorns.

I am the Lorax, I speak for the trees....

When I was a child in elementary school I remember carefully creating a poster to celebrate Arbor Day, but for the life of me I don’t know what it is. This time of year I always get the Arbor Day Foundation’s mailings. I appreciate the free address labels, this year appropriately adorned with nuts, but I never make a donation. I read the information. I even filled out the paper work like I was going to finally pay for all those free address labels, but then I thought – I don’t want to plant all those silly decorative trees. I want to plant real trees. From what I can tell the Arbor Day Foundation’s whole purpose is to get people to plant trees. And I plan on planting 20 of them this April! I would have given them a donation anyway, except they never got around to telling me exactly what “Arbor Day” is and how it came to be. I did look it up on the internet, but I won’t bore you with the story (it’s no where near as exciting as Johnny Appleseed). Arbor Day is April 29 this year, in case you’re wondering.

Have you ever planted a tree? Planting a tree, especially a real tree (as opposed to a decorative tree or a fruit tree) is an act of hope and faith. It’s an investment in the future. Most of us don’t stay in the same place long enough to see an Oak Tree or a Hickory Tree grow to it’s full height. You don’t plant a tree like that for your own satisfaction. It’s an act of altruism.

I grew up in the woods. The trees surrounding my childhood home were enormous hundred+ year old trees. You could barely see the tops. The woods were so dense we were never able to grow grass although my father sure tried. He finally gave up and turned the front “lawn” in to a circle driveway around the trees. When my children grumble about helping me with some outside chore, I regale them with the tale of being forced to pick up sticks and/or rake leaves for hours every Saturday as a child. I loved those trees though, even if they did spoil plenty a play date for me. When you looked up, the canopy was so dense the sunlight sparkled like photo flashes between the leaves. When the wind was really strong those mighty trunks would sway ferosciously, and I was certain they were coming down momentarily. Trees like that speak to your soul. To my young heart, those trees were a thousand years old and I wondered what stories they could tell.

Planting a tree with your kids is a must-do parenthood moment that I haven’t had yet. We had great intentions of planting a tree when each child was born and then taking their picture next to it every year of their life. We did plant a tree for our first-born, but we pretty much forgot about it and it withered to a sad brown stick. Then there was the problem of moving around too much, so it seemed silly to invest in a tree I wouldn’t see grow. Thankfully, my mindset has evolved. I understand more fully that we are all on the same boat. (A fact Japan’s nuclear disaster is bringing home clearly).

I don’t know whether we will be here pushing a grandchild-filled stroller up this god-forsaken hill someday, but either way I’m ready to build some forest. This spring we are planting “real” trees – 10 white oaks and 10 Shellbark Hickories to be exact. We’re purchasing them through the Seedling Sale sponsored by the York County Conservation District. If you don’t live in York County, you should look up your own Conservation District because you have one. There are 3000 of them spread out across this country. You can find yours at http://www.nacdnet.org./

These nonprofit Conservation Districts were created in 1946 to protect the health of the land and the welfare of future generations. They sponsor all kinds of important projects (and are always looking for volunteers – another great thing to do with your kids!). Their projects involve protecting and conserving wetlands and wildlife. They also assist communities in planting trees and other land covers so that our soil is held in place, our air is cleaned, and wildlife have a place to safely co-exist.

Because Conservation Districts are non-profits they sell seedlings for cheap and offer advice for free. If you’re ready to order your trees you better get a move on, because our sale, at least, is ending March 28th, with pick up on April 15th. April is the perfect time to plant some trees and here are a whole lot of reasons to plant them. Share this information with your kids!

Trees:

• filter pollution from the air (by absorbing carbon at a rate of 13 pounds per tree per year! They do the most good at about 10 years.)

• help recycle water

• prevent soil erosion/loss

• give shelter from wind and rain

• provide homes for animals/birds

• make food for humans and wildlife

• provide fuel for stoves and fireplaces

• provide lumber, plywood and other building materials

• reduce utility bills (by providing windbreaks which shield against wind and snow, reducing heating costs by as much as 30%)

• provide shade to cools hot streets and parking lots

• add beauty and grace to our lives

• provide ingredients for pharmaceutical and other medicinal purposes

• help reduce stress (research backs this up!)

• help us connect with nature

And without them there would be no life on this planet!!

I hope you’ll go outside today and consider where you could plant a tree (of any size, I was just kidding about that “real” label). Order yours now, April is a great time to plant and it’s just around the corner. Get your whole family involved. You could even plan a party around it. If you haven’t got land to plant a tree, consider volunteering with the Conservation District to plant trees somewhere else.

“I am the Lorax, I speak for the trees, for the trees have no tongues."

- Dr. Suess

"Suburbia is where the developer bulldozes out the trees, then names the streets after them."

- Bill Vaughan

"Someone's sitting in the shade today because someone planted a tree a long time ago."

- Warren Buffett

"The wonder is that we can see these trees and not wonder more."

- Ralph Waldo Emerson

"He who plants a tree, plants hope."

- Lucy Larcom, Plant a Tree

"A society grows great when old men plant trees whose shade they know they shall never sit in."

- Greek Proverb

"A man does not plant a tree for himself, he plants it for posterity."

- Alexander Smith

Are You Getting Your Fair Share of Animal?

Most everybody I know thinks factory farming is horrible. And most everybody I know likes to eat at fast food restaurants. Is this just the cumulative effect of little white lies? Or did we not understand the unit on cause and effect in middle school science class?

I’ve been reading a great book called, Food Matters by Mark Bittman. He writes about the fact that we are an unhealthy people on an unhealthy planet and we are headed for disaster (or at least the really poor people are) if nothing is done to change our ways. He says it much nicer and with a lot more graphs and charts, but his point is true. Here’s a few of his facts that stood out for me:

60 billion animals are raised each year for food – 10 animals for every human on earth. Now I’m fairly certain that there are a lot of people out there who aren’t getting their share of animals. And I’m guessing it’s not because they don’t want them. It’s most likely because somebody else is eating them.

  

1 billion people in the world are chronically hungry; 1 billion people are overweight. Hmmm….

 When you take in to account the fuels needed to feed a cow (including planting, applying pesticides and fertilizing, and then harvesting and transporting the feed) and then you take in to account the life in the feedlot, butchering, packaging, and transporting; the average steer raised in the US consumes about 135 gallons of gasoline in its lifetime. Doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out that if we eat less meat, we’re going to have significantly less impact. As Bittman puts it, “If we each ate the equivalent of three fewer cheeseburgers a week, we’d cancel out the effects of all the SUVs in the country.”

 Eating less meat isn’t only a good idea from an environmental and global perspective; it’s also a good idea for your health. A National Cancer Institute study of 550,000 people found that those who ate 4 ounces of red meat daily (and how many ounces would there be in a quarter pounder? C’mon dust off those math skills), were 30% more likely to die of any cause (any cause) over ten years than those who consumed less. Yeah, yeah, I’m sure you can start shooting darts in my data, but this was 550,000 people so that birdie won’t fly. The average person in a developing country eats a ½ pound of meat daily – that’s twice what a body needs. And we wonder why we’re obese?

 According to the Mayo Clinic, eating less meat (red meat and processed meats) not only lowers your fat and calorie intake, it also generally lowers your cholesterol. And eating less meat saves you money. Beans, cheese, eggs, and veggies are much cheaper than meat. 

 Bittman does not propose that we all become vegetarians. Heck no, he even has some nice meat recipes in his book. What he does propose is that we eat less meat. In my reading I came across the term “flexitarian” several times. It’s a term referring to people who eat mostly plant-based foods, with occasional helpings of meat, poultry, and fish.

  

Eating less meat is a goal I have for my family. And the meat we do it should be meat that was raised humanely, without unnecessary antibiotics, hormones, and junk food. So eat less meat, but eat better meat. Figuring out what to eat when there isn’t meat involved isn’t really as hard as you think. Here are a few ideas: 

• pasta of any kind – tortellini, ravioli, spaghetti, fettuccini, veggie lasagna, stuff shells, mac & cheese,
•  soups (having a soup night each week is good for you- body and soul)
•  Mexican food (substituting beans for meat) – burritos, quesadillas, enchiladas, nachos
•  Vegetable egg rolls and veggie fried rice (Trader Joes has excellent egg rolls and veggie fried rice is way easy to make)
• Pizza (establish a pizza night and nix the pepperoni)
• Eggs – scrambled, quiche, fried, hard-boiled (so much you can do with an egg! And if you need some fresh, free range eggs, give me a call. We’re overloaded right now- $3/dozen)
• Salad bar (my kids love this one. We include leftovers on the side. Be sure to offer nuts, craisins, hard-boiled eggs, and cheese to get some protein in there)
• Breakfast for dinner (always a winner)
• Meatless Chili (crock pot time)
• Seafood (who doesn't need an excuse to eat more seafood?)

 Together corn and soy account for 50% of the harvest in the US. And most of that harvest is used to feed animals that we plan to eat. Maybe if demand for those animals wasn’t so high, that food could be used for people. There is more than enough food to feed this planet. It’s just not being evenly distributed. If we reduce the demand for meat, factory farms wouldn’t be necessary and food manufacturers might need to find something else to do with all that soy and corn. Little changes in every household will add up.

But here’s the crux of it, according to Bittman, if we currently raise 60 billion animals for meat, ten animals for each person; we will need to raise 120 billion animals by 2050 to sustain that level. We don’t have the space, energy, atmosphere, or water supply to meet that demand. Can’t happen. So something has to give. Our ancestors lived on much less meat, but somewhere along the line we began to believe that we needed more. We don’t.

Surprise!

I love surprises. Well, maybe I should clarify that – I love good surprises. No one likes to be surprised by bad stuff. I once had a bad surprise that was actually a great surprise for my kids. We had recently moved in to the house we are in now and I was sorting through our accumulated life in boxes upstairs, when my oldest son suddenly burst out of the basement door yelling, “I need my bathing suit!” This alarmed me only slightly because my kids were big in to dress up at that time. As I continued sorting, curiosity got the better of me. It was early spring and definitely not bathing suit weather on our chilly hill.

Opening the basement door, I heard delighted squeals from my then 3 year-old daughter. Descending the stairs I got my awful surprise – the basement was under six inches of water. My daughter was happily splashing and the cat was floating on a “raft” made of the foam carpet squares we had just put down so the kids could play. An example of how one surprise can be good for one person and bad for another. (turns out the sump-pump was jammed, easily fixed and it helped us part with the ruined contents of too many boxes)

My husband and I love to surprise our kids. Christmas morning is always filled with its share of surprises, but there are lots of other holiday and non-holiday surprises too. St. Patrick’s Day is fast approaching and my kids are already talking about the tiny leprechaun hats they discovered last year that contained clues leading them to more hats and eventually a “pot of gold” (chocolate coins).

A few summers ago, we woke them up at 6am and said, “Get your suits on, we’re going to the beach!” and we fed them breakfast in the car as we drove to the beach for the day. Never mind the fortunes we have spent renting beach houses, that day remains their favorite beach memory.

The cruise we went on a few weeks ago was our greatest surprise yet. We planned and prepared for it for six months without the kids knowing. On the day of the cruise, we waited for each one to get up and get dressed for school. When they found us in our room packing suitcases, they scratched their heads sleepily and then we said, “How about instead of going to school today, we go to Florida?!!” Oh – that was the best moment of the entire vacation! (the picture above is of my youngest realizing we’re weren’t kidding)

What makes surprises so special is they are proof positive that someone was thinking about you. Which feels pretty good. I think surprising your kids is one of the greatest joys you can get as a parent. They don’t have to be huge surprises. And they don’t have to be that often. In fact, it’s best to spread them out otherwise they cease being surprises and become expected. Need some ideas?

• Pick your child up at the bus stop for an impromptu movie date (the movies are cheaper before 5pm!)

• Show up at school at lunchtime to pick up your child for an “appointment” which is lunch with you at a favorite restaurant or a picnic at the park

• Leave a small gift on their pillow

• Write a note in their planner or leave one in the pocket of their jeans.

• Bring home a new outfit or a book for them “just because”.

• Do a chore for them (mine love when I do their kitchen chore for them)

• Leave a love note on the bathroom mirror or the inside of the closet.

• Serve breakfast for dinner

• Make a special dessert or hand out fortune cookies

• Bring home a new pet (hermit crabs and betta fish count!)

These things don’t have to cost a fortune either. I find all kinds of treasures at the Goodwill and love to surprise the kids with them.

I think I picked up this habit from my husband. He surprises me regularly with small gifts or gestures. Sometimes it’s messages in unexpected places (my to-do list, my calendar). Sometimes it’s doing a chore for me, filling up my car with gas, or fixing something that’s broken that I never mentioned to him. Every once in a while, it’s even flowers. Little stuff, but it makes the ride more interesting. I just never know what might happen on a given day.

I hope my kids are developing this same belief. The belief that anything could happen today. Life is full of surprises. Sure, some of them stink. But you never know, the one after that might be amazing. You might wake up thinking you have a science test and a few hours later find yourself on an airplane bound for warmer places. So much of the time I’m nagging my kids, driving them, reminding them, disciplining them, lecturing them, but every now and then I surprise them. And that makes up for a lot of grumbling. It tells them that I love them so much I’m always thinking up ways to make them smile. They just never know what I might be planning. So they better be nice to me!