Showing posts with label Christmas letters. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Christmas letters. Show all posts

Thursday, December 9, 2010

"It's the Hap-Happiest Season of All...."

There are beautiful blue and white snowflakes edging my front porch and the sides of the porch are glittering with icicles. The railing of my back deck is wound in brilliant glowing colors. We have Christmas lights! OK, so maybe this is no big deal for you. I’ve seen your house glowing from the interstate with a Santa on the roof and holiday greetings superimposed on your garage door, but for me this is big.

I love holiday lights. Love them. For many years my husband has just shrugged his shoulders and mumbled something unintelligible before slinking away every time I suggested a single strand. When confronted, he has always protested that he has nothing against Christmas lights. I’ve pointed out all the perfect pine trees growing near our house that would look spectacular in lights. And every year, the lights I helpfully lug up from the basement sit in their plastic bin collecting dust until after the holiday when I’ll lug them back downstairs. Some years I’ve compensated by decorating our stair railing in lights and sometimes even the kitchen doorway. It’s festive, but it’s not the same.

This Thanksgiving my little brother arrived with pictures of his over-the-top already decorated house in North Carolina. I loved it and oohed and ahhed and then teased my husband about the fact that he doesn’t like lights. He did his whole indifferent schtick and avoided the subject. But then my little brother asked me why I didn’t just put up the lights myself. Huh? I told him I didn’t think I could figure out how to attach the lights to the gutter without damaging the house (and causing my hubby to say, “see….this is why I don’t like the lights”). But then my brother told me about these nifty little plastic things you could buy at Walmart that made it really simple. And as much as I’m opposed to all things Walmart and all things small and plastic that will end up in the Great Garbage Patch, I found myself toting home a box of 300 clips for just 5 bucks.

But here’s the dilemma for those of us who worry about the earth and our electric bill. How can I in good conscience hook up my 15-year-old energy-hogging lights that date back to the days before I married Scrooge? Back to the store I went to get LED lights – snowflakes and icicles even! The boxes sat on the counter and garnered many reactions. The kids were thrilled – we’re gonna have lights!?! My guilt nagged at me – how could you buy that cheap, plastic crap that will just use up energy needlessly? And my husband pointedly ignored them.

When I finally mentioned to my hubby that I was going to put up the lights myself with my nifty plastic hooks, he caved. In his best scrooge voice, he said we could do it together. I told him I’d only hang lights with him if he hummed Christmas carols while we worked. Finally, a chuckle from ole’ Scrooge. And that is how we came to have lights all around our house.

If I try I can get myself in a tizzy about the lights. We don’t need them. They serve no purpose. They are wasteful. What if they set my house on fire? I spent money on new ones because they were more energy efficient, but now the old ones are just sitting in my basement. So while those lights may be more green, just how green are they if they’ve added to the excess in my life and the world? See, I’m good at tying my head and heart in knots.

But here’s the thing. (And I gave a similar rant last year about why I love Christmas letters) The holidays mean something. And the lights are part of that. There’s the deep spiritual meaning this time of year for people of several different religions – that’s pretty big. But there is also this collective time of giving. Everybody is more generous in December. And even if they are motivated by guilt or habit or obligation – the end result is that people are generous. They are gentler with each other. They gather for holiday meals in restaurants and churches and conference rooms. They smile more, shake hands, give hugs, cards, gifts, cookies, and wishes. Perfectly normal and professional people wear ugly sweaters and jingle bells. They get a day or two off work. Sure it’s a shame that it doesn’t last all year – there are plenty of cards and sermons lamenting that fact, but for a little while it’s here. And I’ll take it.

So I love the lights and the music and the excuse to shower the people I care about with my baking, my gifts, my affection. It’s a chance to send cards to all the people I know and gifts to the niece and nephews that are scattered across the country. It is a lot of work. But it only happens once a year. And I’m willing to stress about the lights and fight the traffic and crowds and fall in to bed exhausted after making too many truffles, because the pay off is huge – happy people. A chance to remember that we are incredibly blessed.

And my scrooge? He’s softening. I came home to find Christmas lights hung like garland around our bedroom. This time of year is magical. Embrace it.

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

In Defense of Annual Holiday Letters

I need to say something in defense of Christmas Letters (or holiday letters as the case may be).

And it’s not just because I write one.  (Actually ours is a New Year’s Letter because I just can’t get it together before Christmas, so I’ve stopped trying).

I hear a lot of Annual Letter bashing – it’s too impersonal, they’re boring, too long, no one really cares about all that stuff, or the top complaint – it’s just bragging.

Here's the thing, if you can’t brag to your friends and family about how great your kids are – who can you brag to?

I absolutely want to hear you brag about your kids – everyone should. Every kid needs to have people who brag about them! Is it worth telling us that your kid won third place in the 2nd heat of the Pinewood Derby? Absolutely – I want to know! And pictures of the winning car, please!

Should you tell us that your daughter was the little lamb in the school Christmas pageant? How cool is that? And what about the pet’s latest antics? Yes, yes, yes, this is good stuff. It gives me a window in to your life.

Maybe you're thinking that since we're friends on Facebook, I already know what's going on in your life, but you're wrong! I'm spotty with my Facebook attendance, and couldn't possibly keep up with the hundreds of "friends" I've accumulated.

People who criticize Christmas Letters are probably just jealous that someone else is taking the time to write at length about their own family. Face it; no one has time to write personal notes in all their Christmas cards. A Christmas Letter fills me in on what you’ve been up to all year. For too many of my long lost friends, this is all the information I will get until the next Christmas Letter, so I’ll take it and be grateful.

But a letter rocks it. It doesn't need to be anything fancy or clever. Sure, some people are super creative and do things like Top Ten lists or poems about their year. Good for them. If you're the type - what better way to invest your talents?

Maybe words aren't your thing, No problem - I have a few friends who send collages of pictures with comments. I have another friend who each year sends a collection of the funniest (or most poignant) things her children have said that year. And there are a few who just use bullet points, but that works too. It gets the information across.

If you need a selfish reason to write, here’s one - do it for posterity.

I’ve got annual letters that go back 25 years now. That’s a big chunk of my life history. Hopefully, someday my descendants will want to read it. If only to gawk at how we lived, back in the days when we couldn’t tele-transport and water was abundant and free. There’s important history in these letters. Something lasting. If I ever sat down to write, “my story” there’s no way I would remember all the details of our life over the years. These letters are a clue. They celebrate the things that were important to us, the events that moved us, and the accomplishments we were proud of in any given year. I wish that my grandmothers had written letters for me to read. I would have loved to have known what their lives were really like. So if you can’t write for the rest of us, write for your future relatives.

I love Christmas Letters. I open the cards and make a stack of the letters to savor over a cup of tea when the house is quiet. After I read them I think about the people who sent them and the people they wrote about. Sometimes there is a picture to study. Reading these letters is a little sacred to me. For a few minutes my heart is connected to someone whose life has touched mine somewhere in this journey. There are lots of friends I haven’t seen in years but who made an imprint on my life and heart and so I want to hold on to the fragile thread that connects us. These letters help me do that – much more so than a beautiful card with professional greetings and a quick signature. I’m not complaining – if that’s all you have time for than I’m just grateful I’m still on your list.

But for those of you who wonder whether you should write the Christmas Letter and are afraid of being boring or sounding silly or being one of those people – I’m hear to tell you - write!

Write the letter from your heart and brag all you want – there’s nothing wrong with bragging about people you love to people you love. Nothing. And there’s nothing wrong with photocopying your message to 100 of your closest friends and relatives. Or e-mailing if that's easier. It’s a celebration that you have so many people in your life who matter that you have to resort to mass mailings. This is a good problem!

So please write that letter. The people who love you want to know what’s happening in your life. They really do. Bring on the holiday letters!

p.s. If you send me a letter, I promise you'll get a copy of mine (but it doesn't make it in the mail until New Year's).

p.p.s. If you need help getting started, there are plenty of sites that will give you ideas! Here's a few-

Tips for Sending Christmas Letters

Seven Tips for Sparkling Christmas Letters

Writing a Holiday Letter